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Do You Have An Ex Lover Who Won’t Go Away? Check Out 5 Ways To Deal With Them
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Do You Have An Ex Lover Who Won’t Go Away? Check Out 5 Ways To Deal With Them
Breaking up is never an easy experience for both
parties (both the initiator and the dumped).
While popularly, the dumped party always tends to
respect the wishes of their ex, some others find it
difficult letting go.
These ‘die-hard’ exes will often go to lengths like
persuading the other party to continue the
relationship, stalking, or even becoming aggressive
towards them by making threats, carrying out
emotional or physical abuse.
The root course of this ‘over-attachment’ is often their
denial of reality or fear of the unknown: having to be
lonely and the uncertainty of meeting someone new
with whom they can form a bond with.
While one cannot choose the kind of ex they’ll get,
these five steps will help in handling an ex who
doesn’t want to let go:
1. Be firm with your decision
Make sure to clearly define why you’re breaking up
with this person because it is the clarity of the
situation that can determine how to relay this
information to them and stick to your words.
2. Break communication
It might seem that the more mature thing to do is
stay in communication with an ex but that isn’t true.
Keeping in touch with an ex defeats the purpose of a
break up.
Momentarily breaking off communication with an ex
is recommended in order to really face being alone
and focusing on healing for both parties involved.
There are no rules saying exes cannot get back
together but then again, that is the role of taking a
break in relationships.
3. Never feel guilty
The biggest mistake individuals going through a break
up make is guilt-tripping themselves.
Remember that before anything else, you’re human
and it is in your nature to make mistakes.
Whether or not breaking up with your ex was a
mistake or the right thing to do, choking yourself with
guilt will do neither of you any good.
Move on with life no matter how hard it hurts.
4. Never bear grudges
In addition to freeing yourself from guilt, it is
important not to bear grudges towards an ex.
It doesn’t matter whose fault it was the relationship
sucked, both of you are humans. And as we’ve
established earlier, people make mistakes.
Forgive, try and learn from the experiences you
shared with this person as you go on with living.
5. Report threats, abuse or any form of violence
When dealing with a stalking, aggressive or abusive
ex, make sure to report any threats, acts of violence
or abuse they might try or actually inflict on you.
Make reports to the right authorities as well as letting
your family members, close friends or even
neighbours know about the situation.
***
Source: TheCable
parties (both the initiator and the dumped).
While popularly, the dumped party always tends to
respect the wishes of their ex, some others find it
difficult letting go.
These ‘die-hard’ exes will often go to lengths like
persuading the other party to continue the
relationship, stalking, or even becoming aggressive
towards them by making threats, carrying out
emotional or physical abuse.
The root course of this ‘over-attachment’ is often their
denial of reality or fear of the unknown: having to be
lonely and the uncertainty of meeting someone new
with whom they can form a bond with.
While one cannot choose the kind of ex they’ll get,
these five steps will help in handling an ex who
doesn’t want to let go:
1. Be firm with your decision
Make sure to clearly define why you’re breaking up
with this person because it is the clarity of the
situation that can determine how to relay this
information to them and stick to your words.
2. Break communication
It might seem that the more mature thing to do is
stay in communication with an ex but that isn’t true.
Keeping in touch with an ex defeats the purpose of a
break up.
Momentarily breaking off communication with an ex
is recommended in order to really face being alone
and focusing on healing for both parties involved.
There are no rules saying exes cannot get back
together but then again, that is the role of taking a
break in relationships.
3. Never feel guilty
The biggest mistake individuals going through a break
up make is guilt-tripping themselves.
Remember that before anything else, you’re human
and it is in your nature to make mistakes.
Whether or not breaking up with your ex was a
mistake or the right thing to do, choking yourself with
guilt will do neither of you any good.
Move on with life no matter how hard it hurts.
4. Never bear grudges
In addition to freeing yourself from guilt, it is
important not to bear grudges towards an ex.
It doesn’t matter whose fault it was the relationship
sucked, both of you are humans. And as we’ve
established earlier, people make mistakes.
Forgive, try and learn from the experiences you
shared with this person as you go on with living.
5. Report threats, abuse or any form of violence
When dealing with a stalking, aggressive or abusive
ex, make sure to report any threats, acts of violence
or abuse they might try or actually inflict on you.
Make reports to the right authorities as well as letting
your family members, close friends or even
neighbours know about the situation.
***
Source: TheCable
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